The Middle Child

Well I have been AWOL for I think over a year and I am very sorry about that. I decided that that whole formal discussion about topics is not really my thing. I think that I will just write about what I am thinking and what I am feeling. I have felt very lonely for the whole year. I think that t has been really hard to deal with this whole college thing and it has been a little bit harder than I thought it would be. I I hoping that I will deal with the rest of the year and then get a fresh start next year with good grades and all that. I guess I just expected that I would just meet people who also didn’t have any friends but it just turned out that everyone seemed to find a friend that they already know or just made friends really quickly. I don’t know how I could have missed the whole friend making stage. I feel like everyone else just made friends instantly and just connected instantly. I have been here at college for almost the whole school year and have not really made one close friend. I have met a couple of people in class that I talk to when I sit next to them. However I know that when the school year ends that I will never talk to them again unless we have another class together. We don’t have each other’s phone number or anything like that. It’s like high school but 10 times worse because I don’t even have my family to talk to everyday. In fact I seem to have a problem because lately I have been lying to my mom. I told my mom that I have friends and that I go out. I even told my family that I went out with a guy for my birthday when in reality I just sat in my dorm alone. It’s not that bad though, I love the classes, they are genuinely and they interest me. The best part of it is there is no busy work. I just can’t wait until this year is over and I can start fresh.